3 months old baby

Question: I know whoever read this will abuse me or jate me for this i know i did wrong... My baby is three month old I live at my in-laws place and my husband is in abroad I'm frustrated with my MIL so whenever my baby cries alot i get angry on him and today when he was crying non stop i just slap him on his bum and put him on bad in anger and within a second i started crying bcz i realize that what i did is extremely wrong.... After that my baby is also scared and crying suddenly while playing I'm guilty about what i did... Here i want you guys to please suggest me how to be calm when baby is crying and you are already frustrated.... I'm no a good mother i know that you guys can shout on me but please I'm in depression and i need help....

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